The Mirror - Vagueness
As my incredible therapist once said, “What happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness”. The phrase is a play on words from the infamous statement, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.” The original statement commonly refers to keeping a secret about events and activities that might be promiscuous. But when applied to life and relationships, vagueness creates confusion, assumptions, and miscommunication. Without clarity, people fill in the blanks with their own narratives, which often leads to misunderstandings or missed opportunities for connection. By choosing clarity over vagueness, we create space for honesty, trust, and stronger relationships.
It is the most appropriate time to finish this blog, as my husband and I are freshly back from our Babymoon. We spent four days in Las Vegas. Saw some fantastic shows, had great food and drinks, and made lasting memories. Unfortunately, the content in this blog has little to do with the actual city of Las Vegas. The connection or play on words was a nice introduction to the topic, but the focus is on being vague. According to the Oxford online dictionary, vague is defined as “uncertain, indefinite, or unclear character or meaning” or “thinking or communicating in an unfocused or imprecise way.”
At times, we can be vague unintentionally, and at other times, intentionally. Guess what? You guessed it, intentions are coming back into play. If you are deliberately ambiguous, then you are trying to conceal or hide something. You intentionally limit the details shared, making it difficult for others to assess precisely what occurred or what you mean. When you communicate and genuinely want others to understand your perspective, you do so clearly and concisely, rather than being vague. This is very true for apologies. If you really want to be sincere about an apology, you are NOT VAGUE. You apologize for precisely what you did (PERIOD).
When we operate in the realm of vagueness, we are intentionally hiding information from others. Either we do not want to make the other person(s) mad, or we feel ashamed about our ability to navigate the situation in a healthy manner. Too much operational conversation in vagueness changes our views on healthy relationships because we are in a constant state of hiding or withholding information. Creating curiosity about our intentions helps us establish our true intent in the conversation. Understanding and awareness of this unhealthy approach prompts us to examine our actions, thoughts, and self-awareness in relation to the situation. Imagine trying to look through a window. If the window was clear and clean, you would see a clear image of what is on the other side of the window. When the grime of vagueness covers the window, the images become blurry and obstructed. Same with the goals for communications.
Clarity is a gift — both to ourselves and to those around us. When we remove the grime of vagueness, we allow our words and intentions to be seen for what they truly are. Healthy relationships are built on trust, and trust is built on honesty and openness, not on half-truths or blurred edges.
The next time you find yourself tempted to stay in vagueness, pause and ask: Am I protecting myself, or am I withholding what could create a deeper connection? Choosing clarity may feel vulnerable, but it’s also where authenticity and growth live.
So let’s step out of vagueness and into the light of clear, intentional communication — because what happens in vagueness doesn’t just stay there, it shapes the way we love, connect, and live.
Disclaimer:
The content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professionals with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice based on information you have read here.
