The Mirror - The Art of Connection
In 2019, I was introduced to the concept of "My Intent" bracelets. Every year, I choose a word I can focus on for 365 days. The word is stamped onto a metal ring that you can wear as a bracelet or as a necklace. You wear the piece as a reminder. Over the past five years, I have chosen a different word to help ground and guide me in my year. Each year, I have grown immensely, and I am sure it is because of the guiding post of my set intention. In 2023, my word for the year was "CONNECTION." I wanted to understand how I perceive and connect to the world around me. I wanted to learn how to have quality over quantity connections with my friends, family, community, and, most importantly, myself. In 2023, I also started reading books again and was introduced to James Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits. His work on habits assisted me in understanding how I can achieve my goals and forced me to look at my connection to my identity. Who Was I?
The year 2023 was all about connection! Connection with other individuals, connection with myself, and connection to my life and the way I perceive the world around me. By connecting with others I was building new relationships, new families, new social networks, new adventures, new ways of looking at my life, a new self-identity, new goals, new habits, and a new Clyde.
For 365 days, I explored my connection with the world through reflecting on how I interacted and perceived the world around me. I found myself evaluating everything, and I mean everything. Relationships with friends, my relationship with food, alcohol, my relationship with my body and why I felt the compulsory need to collect everything. For example, I collect things, and if I like a particular thing, I will collect multiple items of that thing, especially if it is part of a set. I know this about me. I have collected toys, books, plants, gym equipment, shoes, and underwear, and I collect them. Clinically, I am not considered a hoarder, but I collect stuff. What is my connection with collecting stuff? I have reviewed it, and my connection with collecting stuff comes from growing up in a space of scarcity. During my childhood, the kids around me were getting things I was not. They would have the best toys and the latest fastest clothing trends. Growing up without enough, I know I overcompensated for my childhood. I have improved my collecting, but I still have some work.
I encourage everyone to reflect on their life to understand the connections to the world around them. We find ourselves attempting to numb feelings and thoughts because they do not align with the identity we believe we have established. By exploring, assessing, and dissecting these connections, we can understand how we interpret life around us. Patterns are essential in life. Unless we work on ourselves to grow and evolve, we repeat behaviors and develop patterns of responding to the world around us. Assess your relationships. Do you have quality friendships, or are you constantly in competition with your friends? Do you have a healthy marriage, or is it tough to talk about the intimate emotions of the relationship? Do you drink alcohol in moderation, or do you need to be the life of the party?
Self-reflection is a cornerstone of personal growth. By examining our own paths through life, we gain far more than by scrutinizing others. To put it simply, avoid judging others. Each of us is on a unique journey, and our role is to support one another. Imagine life as a highway with countless lanes. Each of us occupies our own lane, and like courteous drivers, we respect the space of others. When someone veers into our lane or we feel the other person is threatening our ability to drive in our own lane, we gently remind them of our presence, akin to a honk. This honk represents an immediate judgment. Instead of honking, trust that the person beside you. By practicing patience and understanding, we foster a supportive and respectful journey for all.
