The Mirror - Words as Weapons
Words damage humans....
We all have said things that we have regretted. Whether it be in the heat of the moment or an intentional infliction of vocabularic pain, we all have done it. Our parents did a great job attempting to set us up to have a hard exterior shell by telling us that words are just words. The infamous saying, "Sticks and stone will break my bones, but words will never hurt me," is garbage. Words hurt. Words often hurt far more than physical pain. I have been hurt more by words than any other entity. I try hard not to hurt others with my words as a direct result of my pain. Words like, sissy, faggot, fat, overweight, obese, love handles, big boy, big nose, no butt, husky, and Claudia, among many others have words have caused much pain in my life.
Words have caused more emotional, physical, and mental pain for me than any other form of injury throughout my life. Words hurt… I was overweight as a child, and my family and friends would use hurtful words like fat, husky, or girly. During an inquisitive time, I asked my paternal grandmother what my first word was as a child. She said "nipple," implying my first word involved me asking for food as I was overweight. That is a hard truth to hear as a child. For most of my adult life, I would not take off my shirt in public because I feared what others would think of my body. I am only in my 30s and have started being brave enough to show my stomach, torso, and upper body. Words do hurt, and they have caused me much pain.
We carry many titles throughout our lives; some we adopt and identify with, and some we abandon. Some we give ourselves and others are given to us by other humans. For example, growing up, I thought if you loved something enough and studied, you would be an expert in the field – I loved animals and studied animals, so I would say by nature, I am a zoologist. I loved learning how the biological world works; therefore, I was also a biologist. It was not until I truly understood what an expert is in a field that I could genuinely appreciate the title behind it. Other titles that have crossed my path given to me by others include sissy, faggot, Claudia, girl, homo, fatty, or my favorite one that my grandmother gave me, husky, which means overweight. I have struggled to abandon and keep some titles throughout my life. Some I enjoy are partner, dog dad, plant dad, leader, friend, son, brother, etc., but I am still trying to shake off others. I have struggled with the titles given to me for years, and I still continue to try to overcome the titles. Each day is a struggle to define who I am.
