The Mirror - Kiehl’s Face Wash
Growing up, we did not have a lot of disposable income. All things considered, in the first part of my life, we were considered middle class. After the divorce, I lived with my mother, and at that point in my life, we were considered poor. We did not have money for things like new school clothes or fancy toys. We were on the welfare system, where we received supplemental cash for food and gas. We also received assistance from local charities to pay for things like the gas bill for heating or our water consumption.
Portage, Pennsylvania, where I grew up, had a food pantry. The food pantry would provide food boxes to needy community members, made available once or twice a month. The food came from local stores and assistance programs, and these items were free to those who qualified as lower income. In high school, I volunteered to go to the local food pantry to assist the community members with their food boxes. A lot of the elderly needed assistance with carrying their food boxes to their car, especially in the cold Pennsylvania weather. Because of my family's financial situation, we were enrolled in the local food pantry to receive the food box. In fact, most of my family members have taken advantage of this service. It was pretty humiliating when I would be there volunteering with my school peers and helping at the local food pantry, and then my mom or another family member would walk in.
This blog is not supposed to be a pity story about my childhood poverty. Its intent is to illustrate that I had to work hard to overcome the trajectory of my financial situation. As soon as I could, I started earning my own money and working towards getting out of the loop of socioeconomic status that I was destined to be in forever. Technically, my first job was at the age of 12 as a local paperboy, but I did not have an actual hourly job until I was 16, and I worked at a local grocery store. More to come on the specific touch points of my journey, but for this post, I want to focus on the superficiality of a particular situation.
After several bad decisions and a few college degrees, when I started making adult money, I wanted to invest in myself. I enrolled in a subscription men's body care box called Birch Box. The box would come once a month with a men's item like a brush or handkerchief, but most of the box would be body products for the skin, hair, hands, and other body parts. The products provided were small and mostly travel size, but there were some high-quality products like Sasquatch soap, Versace cologne, and even Kiehl's products. Even though I intentionally invested in this product for my self-care, I ended up hoarding the products and not really using any of the body products. The younger, poorer version of myself wanted to hold on to the products to feel I had value. It was not until several years later I started using them. When I started using them, I was in a different spot where my social connections cared a little more about what type of cologne I wore or what kind of soap I used.
I was traveling with my boyfriend, now husband, at the time. We were in Miami, Florida, and I had packed my Kiehl's face wash for the trip. I wanted to put my investment to good use, so I started using the products I had been hoarding. We were traveling with a friend, and who highly valued pretentious name brands and valued labels. Little did I know he would be a user. We all shared one hotel room, which should have been my first alert about his user personality as we were paying for the room. I packed for my trip my coveted Kiehl's face wash. And guess what? This "friend" used the entire tube during our trip. The face wash that I have had for several years, yes years, and I finally cared enough about myself that I wanted to feel fancy and use it. He used the entire bottle to the point where I had to buy more for only a three-day trip. I was so disappointed with his behavior.
I assume that this so-called friend assumed that I am a successful Nurse Leader and that I intentionally buy expensive branded facewash. WRONG—that was a fluke in his initial perception of me. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to rebrand myself in his eyes. Is that my problem or his?
When you work hard in life, the hard work pays off, but you must remember that only YOU know the sacrifices for the hard work. Adult relationships have this disadvantage because when you meet a new person in your 30s, they don't remember the 20-year-old version of you or what your childhood was like. You show up in their lives, and one could assume that everything you have or have had is unjustly present in your life without hard work. It is easy to have relationships start on a superficial level, but depth is required for an authentic relationship.
This reflection is not about the hardships of my past or the superficial conflicts of adulthood; it's about growth, self-worth, and the complexities of human relationships. Overcoming poverty taught me the value of hard work and perseverance, and those lessons have shaped my understanding of self-investment and personal values.
The journey from scarcity to abundance is layered with emotional and psychological hurdles, like the hesitation to use something as simple as luxury face wash, which once represented much more than just a product, symbolizing self-care and success. Moments like these reveal how deeply ingrained our past experiences can be, influencing how we view ourselves and others perceive us.
Ultimately, relationships, like life, require depth and understanding. People may see your present version and make assumptions without knowing the struggles that paved the way. However, it's not always our job to rebrand ourselves in their eyes. Authentic connections require more than surface-level judgments—mutual effort, curiosity, and respect.
Whether the burden of misperception is ours or theirs doesn't have a simple answer. What matters is staying true to ourselves, knowing our worth, and fostering relationships that align with our values and authenticity. The hard work, sacrifices, and tangible or intangible rewards are ours, and they are deeply personal and meant to be cherished and protected.
Disclaimer:
The content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professionals with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice based on information you have read here.
