THE MIRROR - HEAVY OPINIONS
We live our entire lives in one body—our home, our vessel, and our constant companion through every experience we encounter. And yet, for so many of us, our relationship with that body is shaped not from within, but through the eyes and opinions of others.
In a world that constantly tells us who we should be, how we should look, and what is considered “enough,” it becomes easy to lose connection with our own voice. We begin to measure our worth through validation, comparison, and external standards—often at the expense of our self-respect, our confidence, and our truth.
This reflection is an invitation to pause. To question the narratives we’ve been handed. To explore how deeply societal expectations—especially around body image and weight—have influenced our sense of self. And ultimately, to begin the journey back inward, where true worth, compassion, and healing actually live.
Our entire society has teamed against us to make us feel terrible about not being thin or having a toned six-pack. Across the board, we have been in a position where we rely on others' opinions to determine whether we are happy. We look to others for validation of how we should look or act.
As I walk on the treadmill at Planet Fitness there’s a GLP-1 medication commercial on the tv. The commercial highlights the medication and how it makes life easier - it takes advantage of vulnerability that people that struggle with the weight face. In the commercial you see happy people walking up the steps instead of taking renovator, you see girls putting on a more revealing bikini, you see guys jumping on the trampoline, showing a female being able to zip up a zipper on a dress, dance in front of the mirror, go swimming, try shoes on, walk with confidence, wear tight clothing, sit comfortably on a plane, and fasten their seat belt. A particularly alarming moment for me was when a female confidently cross her legs at a lunch date. And if you’ve never struggled with obesity, the ability for you to cross your legs is very difficult. I felt an utter disgust because it’s truly marketing to people, taking advantage of their vulnerability to sell to them a drug. The commercial highlights that with this drug people who are overweight can do things with confidence. As much as I admire that one does indeed gain confidence when they lose weight, I fear it is attaching emotion to the drug sales - at the end of the day, it is a medicine, a drug.
When we compliment someone based on their looks, we are validating whatever effort they have put into their appearance, sometimes validating good habits and sometimes we validate bad. For example, you have not seen a friend in a few months, and you run into them at the gym. You compliment them on "how much weight” they have lost and how great they look. You have just validated the same mindset that creates the embarrassment behind obesity. They may be starving themselves or purging, but by validating their physical appearance, you are essentially validating the means by which they have accomplished it. Instead, you could say something like, "I really like your workout top," which elevates the friend’s self-esteem without validating unhealthy means to achieve it.
The reality is that when we carry extra weight, we experience the world differently. We face obstacles that others may not encounter. Our clothes fit differently, or simple activities like walking may require more effort on our end, or we might not be able to do them at all. We are self-conscious about our weight because society tells us it is embarrassing to be overweight. We struggle and often turn to food for comfort. It is a cycle. Changes can be made, but only for the right reason.
As an FFK or I guess now FFP (former fat person), I am all too familiar with these moments of physical defeat from being overweight. Worrying about fitting into the seat or being too heavy to ride a ride. Or overpacking for a short trip, because, depending on how you feel, you want options so you can enjoy the trip without wearing anything too tight or showing off imperfections. We remember what people say to us and how they make us feel. I remember a friend in college we were walking and she had her hand around my waist. We were talking about something, and I remember he saying, “I like your love handles.” Immediately, the blood drained from my face, and I felt embarrassed. At that moment I was several years in to my health journey and would have not though I still had “love handles” after several years of hard work and dedication to attempting to honor my body and release the weight from my adolescent years.
I have written in other blogs about the words that can hurt people.
This experience is not just about weight—it is about self-worth. My main argument is this: when we let society, numbers, or external approval define our value, we lose our connection with what matters most—our own voice and sense of worth. We must reclaim our self-worth by looking within rather than seeking validation from outside sources.
Medication, fitness, and nutrition are tools—helpful and sometimes life-changing. But they should not be our source of confidence or worth. That work is internal and personal. It cannot be prescribed.
What if we chose compassion over validation? What if we honored effort, presence, and spirit instead of commenting on bodies? What if we created a culture, starting with ourselves, where people can exist, heal, and grow without shame?
Because the truth is, everybody carries a story. Every person has faced something unseen. And the path to healing is not found in judgment, comparison, or external approval — it is found in understanding, in grace, and in choosing, again and again, to see ourselves as already enough.
Disclaimer:
The content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professionals with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice based on information you have read here.
