The Mirror - Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements) eloquently wrote and introduced the concept of Agreements. Unconscious agreements are unspoken, often an unrecognized understandings between individuals that shape interactions and behaviors. These agreements are typically formed through past experiences, societal conditioning, or repeated patterns and can influence relationships, workplace dynamics, and personal beliefs. While they can foster connection and predictability, they may reinforce unhealthy behaviors or limiting beliefs if left unexamined. Becoming aware of these agreements allows individuals to consciously redefine them in alignment with their values and growth.
When we are first born into this world, we inherently are born into preconceived agreements that are unspoken, at times unconscious, but always relevant. It is easy to consider agreements to only be something of conscious awareness. Still, I would challenge that thought process and say that most of the agreements we experience in our life, especially in our early life, Are unconscious agreements. Think about it: you're born into a world utterly dependent on others to care for you. There is an understood agreement for normalcy and an agreement that indicates that the parents will take care of you as a child.
Culturally, that could also be challenged because just as much as the parent is responsible for caring for the child, some cultures feel that the child is equally responsible for caring for the adult when they are older. We have an agreement with our parents. We have an agreement with our siblings. We have agreements with other family members, friends, communion members, church personnel, teachers, school, bus, drivers, etc. We enter this without even consciously being aware of the Agreement. Outside of early childhood and young adulthood, one could argue that there are unconscious agreements that we step into with neighbors, our coworkers, boss, or even our romantic partners. There are unspoken agreements that must be in place with conscious or unconscious.
Let's face it: Agreements are just outspoken rules between two entities. I use entities because it might not necessarily be between two people. For example, one person may have outspoken agreements with themselves or how they interact with the universe. One may agree with oneself that they know they will only drink 8 ounces of water before they have coffee in the morning, or if they have something to say about someone, they will only say nice things. This post is intended to discuss the Agreements between people, conscious and unconscious. Necessary to understand and ensure awareness.
Agreements in our lives are essential to understand, acknowledge, and decide whether they work for us. If they work, GREAT - Follow Them! If the Agreement does not work for you, DON'T ignore it! Adjust the Agreement to be one you can and want to follow or abandon it. Remember, you get only one life, and we must feel empowered to OWN our life. The agreement creates engagement and ownership for us and adds value to our relationships, allowing us to create depth in our personal journey and understand our oneness on this planet.
In conclusion, agreements—both conscious and unconscious—shape the way we navigate our relationships, our responsibilities, and even our own self-perceptions. They provide structure, predictability, and connection, but they can also confine us if left unexamined. By bringing awareness to the agreements we uphold, we gain the power to redefine them in alignment with our values and personal growth. Whether these agreements serve us or not, we must take ownership of them—keeping those that support our journey and letting go of those that limit us. In doing so, we foster deeper relationships, create a greater sense of purpose, and ultimately live a life that is truly our own.
Disclaimer:
The content provided on this blog is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the guidance of your physician or other qualified health professionals with any questions you may have regarding your health or a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice based on information you have read here.
